I get up and start to get ready for the day. I feel completely
overwhelmed thinking about going to school. So many questions run through my
mind, What if he shows up? Will people know about it? What will people say? I
finish getting ready and walk downstairs. As I get down there I see a lady sitting
waiting for me to be ready to go. We are running a little late and to be honest
I couldn't be happier about being late. We walk outside and there is a van
plastered with the state logo on it. Are you kidding me incase this doesn't scream,
"I am in state custody." I get to school as the bell rings; my first
class is college English. I take a deep breath outside the door "I can do
this." I walk in and turn around and walk back out, " I can't do
this." As I walk down the stairs not sure where I am going one of my best
friends walks up and asks if everything is okay. "No, no its not my world
has been turned upside down." We decide now that I am crying to go to our
volleyball coaches’ room. Every step I took, every corner I turned I was afraid
he would be there. We walk in and our coach is chipper as always, soon he sees
the look on my face and the mood gets serious as he asks what was wrong. I lose
it and start crying even harder as I tell him the least about possible with
still getting the point across. As I am finishing up another one of my teachers
that I am close with walks in and I have to start all over....."And I am
living in a safe home cause they don't know where to put me." Finally I am
finished. Instantly my teacher says he has to go call his wife because they are
going to take me to live with them and he needs to get it going. Live with my teacher’s
family? Is that weird? I guess its better than no where and I had meet his wife
once she was very nice so it will be okay right?
I don't make it to many classes that day. I get a call that he has
taken off and is missing so they can’t arrest him; this causes more stress then
any thing.
At lunch I see my brother. What
do I do? Do I say hi, I have not seen him for day? I go to walk over to him and
he turns away. My heart shattered in 100 pieces. What had they said to him? How
could I handle this he was my best friend? It will blow over tomorrow will be
better right?
I decided to try and go to my
last class of the day, which was a class that we learned life skills in. About
10 minutes into class she informs us that we were going to talk about a hard
subject of sexual abuse and rape. ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Without even thing tears
start running down my checks I turn and look at my friend who knew. I stand up
and walk out of class I can't do this. As I get out the door and down the hall
a few steps the teacher walks out to see what is going on. At this point I am
bawling, I tell her. She is so understanding and feels horrible. She informs me
that this will be subject for a couple weeks so not to come.
School is over and I have to go
back to the safe house that feels like prison. Once I get there I go right to
my room until dinner. I am still not eating much it just makes me sick. At
dinner tonight I have a lady that insists that I eat. Even after telling her I
wasn't hungry she told me I would eat or not leave the table. I want to leave
why am I being treated like a baby, I hate it here. I choke down the meatloaf
(that taste horrible) just so I can go back to my room. I want nothing more
then the therapist to come see me. Soon after dinner she comes. I have never
been happier. I don't know what we are going to talk about but I don't care if
we don't talk I just don't want her to leave. She stays for some time and we talk
about stuff. After she leaves I climb in bed with my phone in my hand.
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