My life

My name is Kendra and I am a 29-year-old mother of 6 wonderful children and a wife to an amazing husband who is always by my side. I have decided to start blogging the journey to overcome my past and becoming a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend.

I will start with a little back ground with minimal detail and along this journey more detail will come in. 

I was born into a family that was very abusive; both my parents were alcoholics and combine that with a temper it is never a good situation. Soon after my little brother was born my parents got a divorce, which at the time I was about 3. After divorcing my mother remarried and you would think the abusive would have stopped there. Little did I know on that day my mom choose to say "I do" my life was going to get so much harder. My mom was in the military and would have to be gone a lot, which is when everything started. When I was 8 years old my stepfather started sexually abusing me when my mom would be gone. This abuse progressed from just when my mom was gone to becoming an almost everyday thing, as I got older.

On November 19th 2004, my whole world changed. I finally got the courage to tell my mom what had been going on for almost 10 years. Which you would think would mean that he would go jail and we would be a family just my mom, little brother and I. Well that’s not how my story goes, on that day I was taken into state custody because my mom CHOSE to keep him in her life and not me (he did serve jail time but she still choose to stay with him. That day I lost my mom and brother. 

Since this day I have struggled to figure out who I am. My whole life I had never stood up for me, I had been told whom I was and what I was going to do. I had learned that I was not good enough, too fat, and not smart enough. Then after getting removed I had came up with a whole new set of beliefs, no one would ever want me after what had happened, this had all been my fault or my mom would be on my side and may more beliefs that were wrong.

I struggled with some of these beliefs still to this day and this blog is going to be my story to get to where I am and my journey to over come the rest of these beliefs to becoming the better me. 

I love the motto by C.G. Jung " I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become. This is something that I am always working on. I get to be who ever I want to become and my abuse doesn't get to dictate who I am!